The difference after losing a Mckenna

I know it's been a while but that is a good thing cause things are truly going GREAT! I thought I would have an emotional roller coaster on my hands after the surgery so I developed this blog as a means of "therapy" for myself. I'm so thankful I've had such a smooth walk thus far. Believe it or not, I've surpassed the 6 month mark which was July 14th.

At this point, I've lost 49lbs and been through 1 plateau which lasted longer than I cared to have it around quite frankly:) McKenna weighs 47lbs so it is easy to appreciate what I have lost just by lifting her. It's incredible to carry her for a short distance and realize what the extra weight was like. Let me tell you, carrying 49lbs makes a big difference in your stamina and joints.

We went to the beach last week which had so many wonderful points. I took two bathing suits, one was the skirted one and the other was one I wore the last time I was on my "weigh" down. Oddly enough, I had not been to Gulf Shores since the last time I wore that suit. I wasn't sure I would be bold enough to wear the non-skirted suit but how about a skirt in the water is frustrating. I had never realized this before b/c I have not been in the water to play with the kids in so long for any period of time. It was GREAT to have the energy and confidience to bust up into that pool without my skirt and hang with the kids. Of course it also helped that there were certainly other folks there who could have used a skirt.

At this point, 6 months out and 49lbs down, I have learned how to listed to my "sleeve" and certainly the importance of food has taken a different place in my life. I can look at sweets without obsessing about them. Don't get me wrong, there are still times when my head still wants to keep eating when my sleeve has declared "no more" but I'm at a point where I keep it in perspective. That said, there are a lot of shared entrees or leftovers among the Brookshires now.

I had my physical in July and all looks well. My thyroid was a little suppressed but that is probably b/c I've been more compliant with my medicine lately:) All levels came back normal except Vit D. I'm starting a weekly supplement and we will recheck in a few months.

Our family beach pix were taken by Page Dollar. She is AMAZINGLY talented though it's hard to get her to admit it. She is also VERY precious and giving cause she drove to the beach to have a bit of pool time, take our pix, go to dinner, then drive back to b'ham all in one day. That still knocks me off my feet but I hope she knows how much we appreciate her talent and selflessness. It's great too to actually look at some pix of myself and see that transition where I'm starting to like them again. That's a good, good feeling.

Not ready for chili yet

Bet you are wondering where in the world I have been! Well, I actually did blog about a week ago but Pudge hit a key and erased it all. I didn't have it in me to re-type it all and thus, a blogging drought. But no despair, I am back.

Yesterday was the 6 week post-op mark. I've lost 27 pounds. I'm pretty well back on all foods now just tiny portions. For instance....

---I ordered a club sandwich at Mcalisters and ate 1/4 of it.
---I ordered a veggie plate at Cracker Barrel and ate about 15 green beans, 3 carrots, 4 dumplings, and a few bites of mac n cheese. Oh, I did have part of a biscuit too but no corn muffin.
---We went back to McAlisters and I got a ham sandwich. I ate part of a half and Cayce enjoyed the rest.

It is definately a different life than I lead before. I will admit that I miss cokes. I guess since that is the only thing I truly cannot have, it's the only thing I miss. Just the visual of a can or bottle is hard. Especially when I eat certain foods, like pizza, popcorn, and mexican dishes. I guess it's kind of like a smoker that always smoked in certain situations. I like a coke with certain meals. Never-the-less I have resisted and been carbonation free for well over a month now.

I'm about to drop a pants size which is super exciting. I went ahead and put them in the laundry to get the dust off....not even kidding there. I want to go ahead and get in something a little tighter because i'm afraid I will get content with where I'm at if I keep wearing clothes that fit or are baggy. But oh how nice it is to wear clothes that fit.

For all the success, I do have some hurdles. It's very difficult to drink all those protein shakes, that I don't like anyway, when I am on real food. Kind of like children not wanting baby foods after they have tasted table food with real flavor. I'm doing way better on my water but am still not up to my full goal. Also struggling with vitamins. I could take them all day long if they were not chewable but I just don't like chewing 5 pills a day. The other area for improvement is exercise. I have managed to walk at UAB twice. It's very difficult to coordinate when I can go with when someone else can go and when my day starts falling apart (usually by 8:00 AM) it is hard to think about breaking away. I'm pretty sure we are going to rejoin the Y I'm just not sure when I would go then either. Life has been very busy recently but I didn't go through this or put my family through it to not get the full benefit. Maybe I will ask Cayce if I can go in the morning....after I sleep in a little of course.

I will try not to be a blogging stranger. Rest assured when I hit 30 lbs lost there will be a new blog and maybe even a picture! I really can't tell that much of a difference except that I don't pass out tying my shoes but most folks say I've lost a dramatic amount in my face.

Love to you all....Kendra

Girl Scout Cookies and the bariatric surgery patient

How did a bariatric surgery patient end up with girl scout cookies? Well, obviously I ordered them before I scheduled the surgery! How did I manage it? Not too badly at all if I do say so myself. I ate a couple on my way home and really enjoyed it but was full so I had no further temptation. When I got home I handed them over to the family and well, now they are but a distant memory.

I've really fallen behind on my blogging this week. It's obviously been a rough week. I seem to have pulled a muscle from lifting Pudge last week. He started gagging and the mom instinct took over. I jerked him up headed to the bathroom but was too late. He vomited on the carpet and I'm still paying the price. I went to the doctor Tuesday and he confirmed that it was not a hernia or worse, just musculoskelatal pain (did I spell that right?). Today has actually been ok pain wise. I didn't even take a tylenol and I've been taking them on a scheduled basis.

Yesterday was the 28 day mark and I hit 25lbs! I must be losing inches too cause my pants keep getting looser as each day passes. For once they are getting loose because I'm getting smaller rather than from me stretching them out and daring Cayce to wash them. That's a really nice feeling, I gotta tell you. I'm also on the 1 week mark till meat. Seriously, I never realized how much I would miss meat until I couldn't have it. I'm at about day 38 of no meat and not sure i will make it. I'm going to Zoe's Wed night and buying chicken salad so it will be here ready freddy on Thursday. My book says that chicken salad is the best tolerated early on. I would love a date to a Jap steak house for Vday but I'm swearing off rice for an undecided amount of time (maybe corn muffins too), and of course the meat thing.

Ok, enough rambling for now. Think I will look for me some dinner and try to get the rest of my water in for today. Thanks for all your support and prayers.

A corn-muffin alteraction

Wow it's been a rough couple of days! I guess I should start around Thursday. Pudge starting gagging so the mother instinct grabbed him and headed to the bathroom. I didn't make it. He spewed on the bedroom carpet and I'm still paying the price for exceeding my 10lb weight limit. Guess they give you that restriction for a good reason. My hot-spot of tenderness had just about resolved but I felt like I had set myself back days after carrying the Pudge just 4 feet.

Friday at work was ROUGH!! I hate P&T Fridays. I never really ate lunch while trying to get everything ready for the meeting. I had Patient Safety Committee right after P&t then a meeting after that. I headed home and left right after work for Chattanooga to meet Jillian Grace! It was a girls trip, just me and McKenna cause Pudge has just not been acting like himself. I ate a cheese tortilla while I packed. I must say I had not really prepared myself mentally to go to Chatt before being able to advance to meats. That is pertinent because I have some FAVORITE local restaurants in Chatt and we always hit at least 1 when we are home. Either Armando's, Ankar's, or Provino's. None of them were options for this trip since I cannot eat meat yet and that was just plain sad. Another issue was that just maybe I'm note quite ready to travel if I am doing all the driving. My already aggrivated hot-spot was really screaming by the time we left to come back home. Regardless of all that, Jillian is an angel and I'm so glad I got to meet her in person. We got home last night around 6:30 and I crashed on the couch until I transplanted to bed. The pain was a little better this morning.

Sunday didn't turn out quite the way I had planned either. McKenna has a terrible cough and when I went to get her dressed, yep, she has a fever too. Low-grade but fever none-the-less so no church for her. Cayce had gone to men's prayer breakfast so he came home to stay with her while Pudge and I went to church. I had already declared y'day that I wanted vegtables from Cracker Barrel for lunch so I dropped Pudge off at home and called our order in. Some habits are really hard to break so as soon as I got back in the truck with the food I reached for the corn muffin. All my lessons in small bites and chewing forever went out the window and I commenced to eating that corn muffin like I had a stomach instead of a pouch. Actually it went down fine and wouldn't have been a problem if that was all I intended to eat TODAY. When I got home I fixed myself a tiny plate of my vegtables which remember was the reason I had gone in the first place. I took maybe 3-4 bites and the reality of the volume of food I had eaten made itself known. Pain, spasms, reflux, DISCOMFORT. I sat looking at my green beans and carrots I so desperately wanted and could not even fathom a bite. I finally just had to leave E with the kids and go lay down. I'm feeling some better now but think I will put corn muffins in the same category with rice. As for this altercation, the corn-muffin won.

Feeling the difference

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since surgery. I'm completely amazed at how the body heals. The last of my scabs fell off today and that pesky pain in my side was not as pronounced. That is awesome cause it has really been getting on my nerves. It did come back when I got in the floor with the TeamKids tonight but resolved pretty quickly once I got up. I bet I can bathe the kids again within the next month or so and I know Cayce will be so happy. I'm having trouble getting my protein shakes in now that I'm on soft foods but I'm really trying to eat a lot of dietary protein. I had a cheese omelet for breakfast and a carnation instant breakfast for lunch. If I can muster the strength maybe I will make me a shake before bed. I'm in that midweek slump and non-compliance with my synthroid does not help my plight.

Cayce said he could tell I was losing weight tonight. That is exciting b/c he sees me everyday. I'm really able to tell the difference in my clothes too. I'm at 22lbs loss. I really wish I would have measured myself so I could see how many inches I've lost but I didn't. I'm so embarrassed that I just kept cramming those 22 extra lbs into my clothes. They fit really well now without the bulges. I don't have any dress pants suitable for work in a size down so I will have to buy some when that time comes but that's ok. I did buy a new sweater tonight in the next smaller size. Seems like I always lose in my face and shoulders first.

Before closing tonight I should mention how I did with McKenna's bday celebration last night. I got pizza's and we had Edgars. I was almost able to eat a whole piece of pizza. A little while later I was able to eat the smallest of slivers of cake. I admit, I should have stopped before I did and suffered a bit afterwards but I'm learning. Love me where I'm at:)

My first post-op BUNKO

Seems like just yesterday we were having our Christmas BUNKO and realized that the next time we got together I would hopefully be post-op. Wow, time flies when you are on liquids:) We had our January BUNKO last night and it was awesome to see the girls. I hit the 20lb gone mark yesterday so that was a nice solid number to roll some dice on. We had pizza and I was able to do just fine with my small cheese pizza portion. No pain or discomfort until I laughed so hard I nearly cried but guess what...all that laughing and even some sneezing this weekend and no leaks. Sorry if that freaks male readers out but any mother still carrying some weight understands what I'm talking about.

A couple of other mile stones this weekend...I dropped my first clothing size. Yep, I went down one size in my panties! Woohoo. I'll let you know when I can go up a notch on my bra extender. That will be a day to celebrate for sure. On with celebrations, I was able to sit in that pesky rocker in the nursery at church without taking it with me when I got up to leave. I've had to really manipulate over the past few months to make sure I got in the one that didn't hurt. I didn't expect to be celebrating these things quite so soon but I ain't complaining either.

I had a really hard time on some rice today. I'm thinking that perhaps rice isn't as soft as we think it is. I nearly died in pain trying to eat it last Wed as my first, soft food and then again today. I think it's the texture which makes you kind of think you can swallow it without having to chew real well but let me proclaim, rice is NOT the same as cream of wheat or grits. I hope to never have the pain and discomfort I had today again.

Tomorrow is McKenna Poodle's bday. It's so hard to believe that 6 yrs ago I was soooo stinking pregnant AND WEIGHED 40lbs LESS. That is just so wrong in so many ways but if you recall, it was that first pregnancy that pulled me down from my WW pinnacle. That positive test was also the green light to sweet tea, cheese grits, and sausage balls. It started out innocently enough. I definately didn't want to expose my baby to artificial sweeteners, only the real thing was good enough for my baby. And the sausage balls, well that was purely for the protein. As she got bigger I thought she needed more protein so I ate a few more each day. And the grits, well they were just plain good. To this day I've not found grits as good as Tuscaloosa VA canteen can make. So, I bet you are asking how we will celebrate tomorrow. Edgars of course...but with some strategies. I'm not picking the cake up, Cayce is helping there so I can avoid that whole alcoholic in a bar feeling. I've also invited some folks to help eat the cake...less left-overs. Those strategies should get me through the night and we all know what a sweet tooth Cayce has. Between him, E (the diabetic), and Pudge, it will be gone by the time I get home Wed. Don't worry about E's blood sugar. She will drink diet coke with her cake and faithfully increases her insulin on such occasions as this:)

I'll let you know if my strategies work but for right now I'm going to reminisce about my sweet McKenna Poodle and how worth the weight she was and is.

Learning to eat post-op is like learning to walk again

I'm definately tolerating soft foods better today then when I started but not without some painful lessons. I guess part of the issue is that my body is in complete shock. It went some 20+ days on liquids then I introduced solids again, my new pouch was not happy about that. I also have to eat VERY slowly with my new pouch. That is exceedingly difficult for me because as a pharmacist, I pride myself on being able to eat without chewing. I had to to get any food down while working but guess what, that won't work anymore. I must, must, must learn to take small bites very slowly and chew until the food disintegrates in my mouth. A girl in pharmacy school did that, maybe I need to get with her for lessons:)

My menu today has been:
1. Cream of wheat for breakfast. I ate about 2/3 a cup with very little distress.

2. Pizza for lunch (no meat). I ate about 1/20 of a digiorno's pizza and tolerated it well. I did eat it super slow in anticipation that it would hurt me but didn't.

3. 1 piece of string cheese for a snack. No problem with that!

3.5. 1 multi-vitamin and b-12 (that's like a mini-meal).

4. Protein shake this afternoon. No problem with that. I have a new recipe that tastes like snow-cream. Yummy.

5. Baked potato with no skin for dinner tonight. I added butter, cheese, and sour cream. First few bites convinced me I was going to die. It was just so stinking good that I slipped back into old habits and ate too quickly. Way too quickly. When I do that it makes me feel like my stomach is going to explode. Not a burning pain but a very uncomfortable fullness, like it won't go down. Then I burp a million times but it is a slow, painful burp.

So, what does this do to me mentally? Freaks me out. I guess it's great from the standpoint that I physically cannot overeat but then it scares me that I'm stretching my pouch. It reminds me of when I was nursing and everything revolved around keeping my milk supply up. Now everything revolves around not stretching my pouch. Remember, this surgery can be defeated but I'm not aiming to defeat it after all the pain to get to this point. So I must learn, to eat small bites, eat them slowly, and chew them well. That process is a monumental change for me and I think it must be like what a stroke patient feels like learning to walk again. As for the baked potato, I got down about 2 TBSP and I'm done.

I hope to get some more water down before bed but other than that...I'm done eating for this date. I'm sure I will tolerate foods tomorrow better than today and will learn to enjoy each bite rather than the whole course seeing as how I won't be eating whole courses anymore...and that is just fine with me.