Learning to eat post-op is like learning to walk again

I'm definately tolerating soft foods better today then when I started but not without some painful lessons. I guess part of the issue is that my body is in complete shock. It went some 20+ days on liquids then I introduced solids again, my new pouch was not happy about that. I also have to eat VERY slowly with my new pouch. That is exceedingly difficult for me because as a pharmacist, I pride myself on being able to eat without chewing. I had to to get any food down while working but guess what, that won't work anymore. I must, must, must learn to take small bites very slowly and chew until the food disintegrates in my mouth. A girl in pharmacy school did that, maybe I need to get with her for lessons:)

My menu today has been:
1. Cream of wheat for breakfast. I ate about 2/3 a cup with very little distress.

2. Pizza for lunch (no meat). I ate about 1/20 of a digiorno's pizza and tolerated it well. I did eat it super slow in anticipation that it would hurt me but didn't.

3. 1 piece of string cheese for a snack. No problem with that!

3.5. 1 multi-vitamin and b-12 (that's like a mini-meal).

4. Protein shake this afternoon. No problem with that. I have a new recipe that tastes like snow-cream. Yummy.

5. Baked potato with no skin for dinner tonight. I added butter, cheese, and sour cream. First few bites convinced me I was going to die. It was just so stinking good that I slipped back into old habits and ate too quickly. Way too quickly. When I do that it makes me feel like my stomach is going to explode. Not a burning pain but a very uncomfortable fullness, like it won't go down. Then I burp a million times but it is a slow, painful burp.

So, what does this do to me mentally? Freaks me out. I guess it's great from the standpoint that I physically cannot overeat but then it scares me that I'm stretching my pouch. It reminds me of when I was nursing and everything revolved around keeping my milk supply up. Now everything revolves around not stretching my pouch. Remember, this surgery can be defeated but I'm not aiming to defeat it after all the pain to get to this point. So I must learn, to eat small bites, eat them slowly, and chew them well. That process is a monumental change for me and I think it must be like what a stroke patient feels like learning to walk again. As for the baked potato, I got down about 2 TBSP and I'm done.

I hope to get some more water down before bed but other than that...I'm done eating for this date. I'm sure I will tolerate foods tomorrow better than today and will learn to enjoy each bite rather than the whole course seeing as how I won't be eating whole courses anymore...and that is just fine with me.